Message from Ann Macfarlane, KCIL Patron –
“Loss comes to each of us in different ways and at different times. Loss can spread over many years or it may be sudden and unexpected. Although I have experienced many deaths, the most painful and the one that has caused the biggest loss has been that of ‘self.’
For many years I struggled with the loss of who I was and this never left me. Other people never realised my unhappiness and my loss of identity. In experiencing the physical death of others, family, close friends and the death of people I did not know, each of these affected my wellbeing.
It was when I was referred to a Counsellor and begun to work on issues that affected my life in many ways, I slowly gained the sense of who I really was and truly began to embrace life. This took over twenty years to reach a place of well-being. I was freed from my imprisonment which led to being able to listen and support other people.
Many qualified professionals cannot understand disability issues and so did not relate to my childhood years of being in multiple hospitals where abuse was rife. Since loss became manageable, I have been able to engage with loss in its different forms with the addition of physical death and the ability to help family members and the wider population.
Of course, other significant losses are those of moving house, moving into a residential or nursing setting, maybe leaving a beloved pet, or the death of a pet, loss of privacy when one can no longer manage your health, reading ability or finances, difficult loss in relationships, even with loss of friends when one becomes disabled.
There are many losses we all experience in a lifetime. I’ve opened up a little on my journey in order that you may know that whatever feelings and thoughts, behaviours and other issues of loss that you are experiencing, KCIL is inviting you to answer some anonymous questions that can find the gaps in services that many of us would like filled. You don’t have to do a survey, we can provide a listener, or a phone call, or you could choose to join a small and confidential group setting where you will be supported with follow up where appropriate.
Please help KCIL with this Project so that you might find support and, it may be that in so doing, be a support to others in their grief and loss”.